


Heart of Stone

by silkiemae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enjoy the angst, F/M, he is such a gift, i have so much love for sirius black, i only read fanfics of him so obviously i have to write one, like dude, this story is going to tear out your soul so...my bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-05-17 13:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 17,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5871112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkiemae/pseuds/silkiemae





	1. the worst day of sirius black's life

The worst day of Sirius Black’s life was the day James and Lily Potter died. Everything that day changed. His godson was left orphaned, his best friends were dead and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was apparently gone…for good. Not only that though, someone he had trusted for years had betrayed them all and Sirius saw only red. Peter Pettigrew got away from him and was deemed a hero. A noble title for an undeserving rat.

 

Only twenty-one years old and Sirius was sentenced to a lifetime in Azkaban. Falsely accused for the murder of two of the most important people in his life—and yet that wasn’t the worst part of it.

 

The worst day of Sirius Black’s life was also the day that Lumen Ellesmere died.


	2. the empty living room

The room was empty save for the hole-riddled sofa pushed into the corner. The walls were gray and there were paler patches where old photographs used to be. Everything was gone. Everything that made this house Lumen Ellesmere’s home had been taken down and put in boxes and wrapped in plastic only to be carted away to some unknown location. It was for the best. It was the only way to keep her family safe.

 

A hand clapped down on her shoulder and she turned to find her brother, Roman smiling down at her. She placed her hand over his and returned the smile to the best of her abilities. “It’s for the best,” she whispered, returning her gaze to the barren living room. “Mum and Dad will be safe now. If I don’t know where they go…neither will he.”

 

“If only we had those fancy powers of yours,” Roman joked, poking at the wand clutched in Lumen’s free hand. “We wouldn’t have to run from you—we could help you.”

 

Lumen finally gave Roman a real smile then. “I _knew_ you were jealous,” she laughed.

 

“Of my sister being a witch? A tad bit, yeah. I get to be a boring human-being and you get to go…clean your house by saying a single word.”

 

“ _Tergeo_ ,” she informed and Roman rolled his eyes. Sighing, the two finally left the living room and made their way to the driveway. Her mother and father were busy shoving the trunk down until the three boys she had brought with her just waved their wands in annoyance. Instantly the trunk slammed shut and Lumen’s mother jumped with a startled cry. “James,” Lumen hissed.

 

“Sorry, Lou!” James Potter yelled and then turning to her mother he repeated the words. “Just trying to help,” he muttered and Lumen rolled her eyes as she and Roman finally made their way to the car. Lumen’s mother was one of those women young girls prayed they’d grow up looking like. She could be a model even at fifty-two and yet she married a man that looked as though a flick would break him in half.

 

It was then that Lumen nearly started crying. She looked at her mother and her father and her big brother and realized that it might be the last time she saw any of them ever again. Closing her eyes and pulling her blonde hair away from her face, she took a deep breath and lunged forward to envelope her family in a hug. “I’ll miss you guys so much,” she whispered.

 

“Oh Lou-Lou, are you sure you can’t come with us?” her mother cried in her ear.

 

Lumen pulled away and touched her mother’s cheek sadly. “No, I can’t. I’m sorry but they need my help and I can’t leave…” she glanced at the three boys standing awkwardly by the trunk of the car. “I can’t leave them,” she finished and her mother grabbed her face and kissed her cheek.

 

“I understand, baby.”

 

Lumen said goodbye to her father and mother and watched as they got in the car. All that was left now was Roman. With a shaky breath she turned to her big brother. The two looked absolutely nothing alike; where Roman was all dark features and soft lines, Lumen was blonde with blue eyes and a chin so sharp it looked as though it could cut. Roman was who she was going to miss the most. She buried her face in his chest as she wrapped her arms around his torso. “You promise to keep them safe,” she said, her voice muffled. “You don’t do anything stupid and don’t call me at all. Okay?”

 

“I promise,” Roman, said, his cheek resting on the top of her head. He pulled her away, his brow furrowed as he looked at his sister. “I…I should be the one staying, not you,” he whispered. “It’s not a jealousy thing, I promise. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

Lumen smiled, it was a sad smile but a smile nonetheless. “I’ll be okay. Besides, I’ve got my boys,” she said, nodding her head toward the still three awkward men waiting for her. Roman looked over at them apprehensively but seemed slightly more satisfied before he nodded and released his sister.

 

The boys stepped out of the way and came to stand by Lumen as she watched her family leave her life. She didn’t know it then but it would be the last time she’d ever see them. A hand clapped down over her shoulders and she glanced up into grey, friendly eyes. “Come on, Lou,” Sirius said. “Let’s go home.”


	3. the house that's bigger on the inside.

The house was small on the outside but that was the amazing thing about magic—deception. It was a little house on the corner of a very suburban subdivision; no one would’ve suspected that a group of wizards lived there. Lumen, James, Sirius and Remus all stood in front of the small badly painted blue house, their hands linked as they had just apparated to the spot.

 

“Home, sweet, home, eh?” Sirius said with a grin, nudging Lumen with his elbow. She smiled up at him before releasing his and James’ hands and walking up the small pathway leading to the front door. Upon entering the very small-looking house she was greeted with a very pregnant Lily Potter.

 

Just from the look on Lily’s face, Lumen knew she had been worrying the whole time they had been gone. Everyone had agreed that with Lily’s pregnancy staying in the house was the safest place for her—which Lily very grudgingly accepted. Lumen’s hands landed gently on Lily’s belly; for only six months she was huge.

 

 

“Did everything go alright?” Lily asked, looking down at Lumen who was talking to her stomach. She had grown used to these idiots constantly turning to goo whenever she was around all because of the little growing human inside of her stomach. Lily’s hand went to rest on the top of her belly as she waited for Lumen’s answer.

 

There was sadness in her eyes, which Lily immediately recognized—she had had to do the same for her family. Not that her sister, Petunia, had been as receptive to her help as her parents had been. Anyone with a muggle family had done exactly the same as they had—anything to protect their families from those set on destroying all that weren’t pure.

 

“It went fine, they’re safe,” Lumen sighed, resting her forehead on her friends shoulder. “I just hope this ends soon,” she said, though they both knew it wouldn’t.

 

James and the others filed into the house, now much larger than it had previously seemed, and each greeted Lily with the same warm enthusiasm Lumen had given her—though James’ had a bit more warmth to it as he dipped her down and kissed her. Lily giggled, clapping her hand over her mouth as James led her to the kitchen for some privacy.

 

“Where’s Wormtail?” Remus asked, more to Sirius and Lumen than to Lily. They all knew she would be too preoccupied to answer.

 

“Probably doing rat things,” Lumen sighed before making her way to the living room and crashing on the couch. Sirius and Remus followed her, Sirius taking the spot on the couch beside her and Remus posting himself near the window in order to gaze distractedly out of it. Placing her feet in Sirius’ laps she let an inaudible groan of appraisal out as he began removing her shoes and rubbing her feet.

 

Lumen had been friends with the boys since her fourth year in Hogwarts. She wasn’t best friends with them, at least not the sort that was constantly with them. She was more of an acquaintance at first, one they were very friendly with and one that they spoke to on a regular basis. It wasn’t until she developed a crush on Remus that she really got close to them—teenage girls stalking a group of boys who turn out to be unregistered Animagi can raise some unwanted questions. Then she found out about Remus’…condition and the group had been closer ever since.

 

Not as close as they were now. Once Voldemort had begun building his army they had all come to the realization that no one was going to try to stop him. Now here they were in one of the homes designated to the Order of the Phoenix waiting instruction from the one in charge—Albus Dumbledore.

 

Each of the boys was like a brother to her. Her crush on Remus had evaporated after realizing he held no interest in her the way she held it in him. Now here she was, living with them and sending her family away.

 

“This is the life,” she grumbled as she let her head fall back over the couch’s arm.

 

Sirius chuckled, patting her knee and then turned his gaze on Remus. “Dumbledore is late,” he said. “Do you think something’s happened?”

 

Remus shook his head, finally turning away from the window to face Sirius and the now dozing Lumen. “No, Dumbledore is too smart to get into trouble. You know how he’s always bringing gifts for Lily. That’s probably all it is.”

 

“He’s right, Sirius,” Lumen said, reaching forward to grab his hand in hers. “Don’t worry so much.”

 

“Yes, mom,” he grumbled, glaring at the blonde. She simply grinned at him before closing her eyes once more.

 

“Wake me up when he gets here,” she muttered under her breath, as she turned on her side to face the back of the couch. She curled her feet in on herself, removing them from Sirius’ lap and the next thing she knew someone was covering her with a blanket. She muttered her thanks and then almost as if someone had doused her with a sleeping potion she fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep.


	4. the really bad dream

The Wizarding world was at war. Lumen’s heart pounded in her chest as she tried to unfasten her cloak. It had caught fire by an unseen wizard’s curse and she felt the heat of it burning her skin. She released its hold on her just moments before it had completely incinerated and now she found herself on all fours, panting and looking up to the sky. Smoky shadows were all around her, beams of red and green shooting this way and that just over her head. Bodies were falling to the ground and there were screams, as people watched loved ones die.

Is this the way her world is going to end? 

Lumen glanced to her left finding the wide-eyed stare of Remus, as his limp body lay sprawled on the hard ground. She crawled over to him, drops of water falling on her hands as she realized she was crying. “Remus,” she whispered and just behind him she found that it wasn’t just Remus who had been taken from her. 

Lily lay at his feet; her belly still full with her unborn child and clutching tearfully at her was James. James who had never seemed more distraught in his life. Lumen didn’t know what to do—there was this vast emptiness inside of her as she held Remus’ cold hand and watched James’ sob over his wife. 

Then her heart began beating harder as she realized that Sirius was nowhere to be found. She stood up, gently placing her fingers over Remus’ eyes to close them and then she ran. She didn’t know where she was going only that she had to find him; she had to find Sirius because he couldn’t be gone. Lumen nearly tripped over a body and as she turned to look back she really did trip and fall to the ground. She cried out as her foot twisted in a very wrong direction and as she reached back to hold her wounded ankle she saw Peter. “No,” she cried, looking at the slack jaw of the doe-faced boy she had grown so fond of.

Remus. Lily. Peter. 

Who else was gone?

“It was him!” a voice bellowed from behind her. She turned to find Sirius stomping toward her, rage written all over his face. His long, dark hair billowed before him and he looked divine even with his wrath as he dropped to his knees beside Peter. “All of this, because of you!” he screamed as his fingers clutched his dead friend. 

“Sirius,” Lumen gasped and he looked up at her, his eyes red and wet. “Sirius, stop,” she said.

“You don’t understand, Lumen. He did this. He betrayed us.”

Before she could ask him who, a green light swam through his skin and his eyes widened. A moment passed and then Sirius was dead. 

\---

Lumen opened her eyes to find not the foggy gray sky she had been dreaming of but a plain cream ceiling. She closed them once more, thanking god that it had only been a dream. She sat up suddenly, realizing that she was no longer on the couch but in one of the bedrooms—her bedroom. She had never bothered to decorate aside from the clothes messily strewn on the ground and the single photograph of her family on the table beside her. It didn’t move like a wizard photograph but she loved it all the same.

Still, the uneasy feeling that that dream was real still lingered in the back of her mind and she knew she had to be sure it truly was a dream. She threw back the covers and left the room, padding down the hallway and descending the stairs only to enter kitchen and found everyone safe and sound. 

James and Lily stood near the back window, smiling and flirting with each other—Remus was sitting at the table with his nose buried in a book. Then there was Peter and Sirius both hovering over the refrigerator; Sirius took his head from it, a sandwich hanging from his lips and waved his fingers at Lumen.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Peter said with a toothy grin. 

“I’ve just had the most terrible dream,” she sighed, going to sit beside Remus. 

“Was it one of those dreams where you’re naked in front of the world? I’ve had those more than I care to admit and they can be pretty traumatic,” James said, finally tearing his attention away from his wife. 

Lumen rolled her eyes, deciding it best not to share the dream. It would only ruin the good moods everyone had going—lord knew it had been a long time since everyone was able to smile in the same room. “Something like that,” she said simply with a small smile.

Catching Sirius’ gaze however, she knew that he could sense that she wasn’t telling them everything. If there was one thing that had always bothered Lumen about the boy was his knack for sensing her lies. No matter how hard she tried to avoid telling him though, he always managed to get it out of her and she knew this case would be no different.

“Dumbledore still hasn’t shown up?” Lumen said, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. 

“No, but he sent word that he won’t be coming today,” Remus sighed, finally looking up from his book. “I guess there was some emergency at the Ministry that needed him,” he shrugged and then just as easily returned to reading his book.

“Right then, I’ll just go back to sleep,” Lumen grumbled before standing up and heading out the way she had come. She had made it all the way upstairs before, as she had expected, Sirius stopped her.

“Hey, Ellesmere,” he called and she turned to see him ascending the stairs. She had stopped just in front of the doorway to her room and was unsurprised when she gave her the slightest push to go inside. She did so and sat on the bed and waited as he closed the door and turned to lean against it. “Care to share?”

“Share what exactly?” she asked, feigning a yawn. 

“Your dream. I don’t know why you try and keep things from me anymore—I always get them out of you,” he said with the slightest of smiles though the frown in his eyes held. 

Lumen rolled her eyes before running a hand down her face. “I had a dream of the war,” she confessed. 

“What did you see?”

“I saw…bodies and smoke. Remus and Lily dead…James crying over Lily’s dead body. I panicked and ran to find you and then I tripped…over Peter. You were screaming saying it was all ‘his’ fault, ‘he’ betrayed us. And then…”

“And then what?”

“Then you died.” Lumen said, meeting his eyes. “And I woke up.”


	5. the very welcome visitors.

Three nights passed since Lumen’s nightmare. Sirius had stayed with her that night with his arm wrapped around the back of her neck and his fingers in her hair. She never would admit it to anyone but she was afraid to sleep alone. Afraid of those dreams that had plagued her thoughts and Sirius was the only one who knew and the only one who would know.

It wasn’t the first time Sirius had spent the night with her. He had been able to sense things her fears for the past few months they had been living beneath the same roof and had always come to her rescue with a friendly shoulder to lean against.

Dumbledore still had been unable to come see them and they were all getting antsy. There was nothing to do. No foreboding signs of impending doom had recently come up. Of course there were Death Eater acts all around but it wasn’t as though they were learning about them months in advance. They were all simply waiting around for instruction and it was something that James and the others hated.

Lumen had just finished coming her hair back into a neat ponytail when Remus burst into the room with a grin spread across his still boyish face. “Longbottom’s here,” he said energetically and Lumen couldn’t help but match his grin before jumping up and following him down the stairs.

Sitting in the living room was Frank and Alice Longbottom. Alice sat beside Lily their stomachs battling in size and Frank simply smiled proudly at his wife before catching sight of Lumen. The two didn’t share the same acquaintance-like relationship she had shared with the other boys. Frank and Lumen had banded together during their courses and often found each other partnering during labs. In fact, it was Lumen who had pushed Frank so insistently toward Alice. She had been the one always catching the two staring at one another and finally she put her foot down.

Frank was like another brother to her and the thought made her miss Roman even more. “Lou!” Frank said before standing and walking over to the blonde. He wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her into the air; her feet swinging round as she hugged his shoulders. “How’re you?” he asked, giving her that squinty grin she was so familiar with.

“Better now that you’re here,” Lumen said, punching him playfully on the shoulder. “Come here,” she murmured, taking Frank’s hand and dragging him into the kitchen. “Alice is okay?” she asked, as she glanced around Frank to look at the pregnant woman.

Alice had been so afraid when she first found out she was pregnant. Terrified to have a child in this war. She was so scared that there were complications in the beginning and it had gotten to the point where she was bedridden. Frank’s smile softened as he looked at his wife with her hay-colored short hair and her rosy cheeks. He nodded eagerly, turning back to his friend. “Much better than before. I wouldn’t have brought her if she wasn’t. She’s been smiling like that weeks now…you should’ve seen her when he first kicked.”

“It’s a boy?” Lumen asked, her eyes lighting up.

“We’re calling him Neville,” Frank said.

“That’s a really terrible name, Frank,” Lumen snorted.

“I like it,” Frank shrugged, and then his expression turned serious as he leaned down so he was able to talk lower. “You had to send your family away, I heard. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. As long as they’re fine, I’m fine,” Lumen answered simply before squeezing her friend’s hand. “Come on, let’s go back,” she said before dragging him back over to the happy group. “Are we missing Wormtail again?” Lumen asked, glancing around to see that Peter was in fact missing yet again.

“What the hell is he doing?” Lily grumbled, her stomach resting on her belly.

“Rat things?” Remus said and Lumen made a very rude gesture in his direction.

“I’m glad everyone is feeling chipper,” came a voice from behind them. Everyone in the room recognized the voice in a heartbeat; that wise, old voice was the most familiar thing in the world. Dumbledore stood in the doorway, his robes a minty blue and his smile warm.

“Dumbledore,” James said standing up. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“Yes, I know. In any case, now that I have all of you together…with the exception of Wormtail, I think it’s time we get started. Don’t you?” Everyone nodded in agreement before Dumbledore took a seat in the corner of the room. “Lily, Alice, you both look lovely,” he said, his eyes twinkling beneath his spectacles. “And Lumen, radiant as always.”

Lumen looked down, muttering her thanks before she sat down beside Sirius. “Aren’t you going to comment on how handsome the lot of us are, Dumbledore?” Sirius asked with only the hint of a smile on his lips.

“I try very hard not to lie, Mr. Black. Don’t make me start now.”


	6. the not so good news

Dumbledore’s presence was almost like a flicker of fire in an empty fireplace. He gave them hope where they had slowly begun losing it and Lumen found that icy patch in her chest begin to thaw as she looked into Dumbledore’s kind, wrinkled eyes. “I bring good news,” he said with the smallest of smiles looking at each and every one of them. “I think it’s time that Mr. and Mrs. Potter take residence in their own home,” he said.

“What?” Lily asked, sitting forward slightly, her eyes widening with the slightest bit of excitement.

“Seeing that you’ve only got three months until your son is born—it might get a little crowded here. We’ve found you a new place to call home…we can move you there as soon as next week. That is, if you’d like to.”

James and Lily stayed quiet for a moment, looking at each other and having an almost silent conversation with one another. It was very true that the house had become quite crowded. It only had three bedrooms—one of which was Lumen’s, the other James and Lily’s and the third was shared between Remus, Sirius and Peter.

“We’d love to,” Lily said, a wide smile on her lips as she grabbed James’ hand.

“Excellent,” Dumbledore said, clapping his hands together and smiling widely. Lumen glanced at Remus and Sirius who were now her roommates, internally groaning at the chaos that living with three boys would contain. “Now onto more pressing matters.”

This was when the group’s excitement lulled away and their faces turned grave. Sirius had taken up a post near the window and Lumen watched as his eyes dropped to the ground. He was fully aware of his family’s involvement in this war and nothing bothered him more than having to hear what terrible things his brother, Regulus, was most likely responsible for. She thought of standing and going to him but decided it best to remain where she was and focused her attention on Dumbledore.

“There have been some…deaths in these past few days,” Dumbledore said and Lumen’s throat clenched.

“Who?” Remus said, his voice soft as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. Dumbledore looked at the group around him and sighed, removing his spectacles and rubbing them absently against the sleeve of his cloak.

“I’m afraid that Fabian and Gideon Prewett were lost in battle…a group of Death Eaters led by Antonin Dolohov nearly obliterated them. They fought quite bravely and will be remembered that way forever,” Dumbledore said, his eyes falling to the ground.

The group was quiet for a moment, taking the silence to remember the Prewett’s. Lumen had never spoken to them before but that didn’t lessen the blow of losing a fellow soldier. “We should’ve been out there fighting,” Sirius said suddenly from the back of the room. His expression was dark and his fists were clenched at his side. “Why have you kept us locked away when we could’ve been helping? We could’ve prevented their deaths and instead we’re playing house.”

“I’m afraid it wouldn’t have made a difference, Sirius,” Dumbledore said, turning to face the angry man. “They were struck down when you were helping to move Lumen’s family.”

“So it’s my fault?” Lumen said quietly. If she had gone alone to make sure her family left than James and the others would’ve been able to help the Prewett’s. Yet somehow she felt no guilt in that, it could’ve just as easily been Sirius and Remus that had been struck down and she wouldn’t be able to cope with that.

“Of course not, my dear,” Dumbledore said. “We all have our parts to play. Fabian and Gideon played theirs well and bravely.” No one argued with him after that though Lumen could see the cloud of rage in Sirius’ eyes—not at Dumbledore but at the war. It plagued him as it plagued Lumen, she was sure.

Eventually Dumbledore had conjured up a pot of tea and passed out cups to everyone and they all had a rather nice time before Dumbledore finally departed. However just before he was about to leave Sirius managed to catch him. “Next time I want to be there,” was all he said before Dumbledore simply looked at him gravely and walked out the door. He turned to find Lumen standing in the walkway. The rest of the group had retreated to the kitchen where they were no doubt beginning to fix dinner. Only Lumen and Sirius were missing from the group but no one seemed to think anything of it.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her arms crossed as she stared at the ground.

“For what?”

“I’m sorry that you had to be with me when you could’ve been fighting with Fabian and Gideon. I’m sorry that you feel responsible for their death,” she said watching as his feet neared her. Sirius took her chin between his thumb and index finger; bringing her gaze up so that he was looking into her eyes.

“Stop feeling sorry for what you can’t control, Lou. It’s not your fault,” he said simply.

“It’s not yours either, so why do you blame yourself?” Lumen had always been fascinated by the grey color of Sirius’ eyes though now with the fierceness in his gaze they looked blacker than anything, onyx almost.

“My family…”

“Is right here,” she murmured. “Didn’t you say that once before? That this was your family?” Sirius released her chin then and smiled. “We’re all in this together, yeah?”

“You’re a very clever girl, Lumen.”

“I know,” she said, her smile widening as she wrapped an arm around his waist. “Quit being so pouty and let’s go eat.”


	7. the brand new potter residence.

It had been a restless couple of weeks where the group sat in that small house. Finally, when Dumbledore showed up to direct them all to the new Potter residence it was as though a small fire was lit beneath them all. He came with a port key in the shape of an old hat and assured them that everything they need was already in the house.

So as everyone crowded around the port key, Dumbledore checked his wrist, though there was no watch on it and suddenly Lumen felt as though her insides were being sucked out of her bellybutton. It only lasted a moment before she stumbled onto pavement and crashed into Remus’ back.

“Welcome home, Mr. and Mrs. Potter,” Dumbledore said with a warm smile on his face. He looked as though the journey there had barely ruffled him, whilst everyone was still gathering his or her bearings. The house was nothing extraordinary, in fact it was very ordinary if anything. But Lumen could see from the expressions on James and Lily’s faces that they were in love.

It was a small beige home, with a wide bay window exposing the living room and a dark brown roof. Lily bounded up the walkway to the door surprisingly fast for a woman with an incredibly round stomach and flung the door open, James close behind her. Dumbledore was simply smiling up at the house, as Remus, Peter, Sirius and Lumen remained behind to let James and Lily enjoy their new home.

Moments later, James’ head popped in the doorway and he frowned at everyone standing outside. “Well come on, get in here!” he said and the group hurtled toward the front door.

The house was as house-y as a house could be. With a blue sofa and a mahogany coffee table. There was a little television set even and Lumen couldn’t help but share a secret smile with Lily, considering the others probably had no clue what it was even for. Dancing photos lined a mantelpiece set just above the television and as Lumen stepped closer she couldn’t help but grin at each one. James and Lily kissing on their wedding day, Lily and Lumen laughing hysterically with their heads together…memories upon memories that were forever engraved in Lumen’s mind.

“Cozy,” Sirius said, crossing his arms and looking around the house. There was a bookshelf pushed back behind the couch, empty, but Lumen knew would soon be full with books.

“There’s a room for the baby,” Lily squeaked as she rounded the corner and beckoned for Lumen to follow her. As the two ascended the stairs, Lily spoke animatedly. “It’s perfect, Lou. He’s going to love it,” she said as she placed her hand over her belly.

The room was a simple pastel blue but when Lumen looked up at the stars it was enchanted just as the Great Hall at Hogwarts had been, to match the sky. Lumen couldn’t help but smile up at the cloudless blue sky and glanced at Lily who was near tears. “Dumbledore is amazing,” she sighed, reaching to take her friends hand.

Finally after everyone was finished running rampant around the house, admiring each room the group decided to leave James and Lily with Dumbledore to get settled. Lumen stepped outside; pulling the jacket she wore closer to her body. Though it was April the weather seemed to be getting colder and colder and she had a feeling it had something to do with the dark magic brewing in the air.

She glanced up at the sky, pleased to see that it was still just as clear and blue as it had been in the nursery but that didn’t truly ease the sense of foreboding she felt. Suddenly a hand clapped down on her back and she jumped, glancing over to see Sirius grinning down at her.

His hair was long, almost to his shoulders and dark, though there were bright streaks from the sun now—the wind blowing it in his eyes and Lumen reached up to pull it back. “You really need a hair cut,” she laughed. Sirius shook his hair away from her grasp and gave her a defensive look.

“I like it, thank you very much,” he grumbled, holding out his hand for her to take. She did so, twining her fingers with his and for a moment he glanced at their linked hands and smiled. “Remus and Peter went ahead of us…but I thought you and I could spend some quality time together.”

Lumen quirked her eyebrows, glancing up at Sirius quizzically—she assumed that Remus and Peter were doing something on Dumbledore’s orders. Sirius was more than likely looking for a distraction from being unable to help and Lumen was going to be that for him. She sighed, before releasing his hand.

“Alright, let’s grab a drink then.”


	8. the magic lights and the waitress that liked sirius.

Lumen ended up convincing Sirius to go to a local pub, one filled with muggles and not a single bottle of Ogden’s Old Firewhisky in sight. They sat at a little round wooden table in the darkest corner of the bar, their heads down as they scoured the menus. Lumen knew the muggle beverages well enough after spending many nights out with her brother in places like these. Watching Sirius’ furrowed brow as he read over the list of unfamiliar drinks was highly amusing.

“Can’t we just go to Hog’s Head?” he grumbled, finally meeting her eyes. Lumen smiled and shook her head disappointed at him before pointing at one of the drinks on the menu.

“Just get the Mead you picky bastard,” she laughed. Sirius grumbled but nonetheless ordered a bottle of Mulled Mead when the waitress came around. Neither missed the look she gave Sirius upon taking his order and Lumen couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ve got another fan, Black,” she said, punching him casually on the arm.

Sirius turned to look at the retreating waitress; she had chestnut hair that just reached the top of her rear and it looked as though she had a difficult time brushing it because there were several visible knots toward the back of her scalp. He shrugged before returning his gaze to Lumen. “I prefer blondes,” he said, the words so casual that Lumen didn’t even think to blush until she realized she was.

Moments later the waitress returned with their drinks before sauntering off again, making sure to sway her hips in the hopes of attracting Sirius’ attention though he was more focused on the drink in front of Lumen. “What is that?” he asked, examining the yellow cocktail.

“It’s called a Pyrat Paralyzer,” Lumen said before taking a sip of it and grimacing at the amount of alcohol. “Try it,” she said and Sirius did before shrugging. “Remember the night when Remus snuck Firewhisky into the common room?” Lumen giggled, toying with the straw in her drink.

Sirius snorted into his mead before nodding. “Remus passed out after like three drinks and that was the night you were going to confess how madly in love with him you were,” he said.

Lumen rolled her eyes, nodding. “But I had to tell you instead since he was a blubbering mess.”

“It was a very sweet speech,” Sirius said, giving Lumen that secret smile of his. “If it were me I would’ve asked for your hand in marriage right then and there.”

“Mm, I imagine we would live on a hillside somewhere with your fan club sneaking in and out while I was away. I’d come home one day to find you with some fiery red head and we’d kick and scream at each other about how you promised you would always love me,” Lumen said, looking up thoughtfully.

“Then we’d have a really great hate shag and you’d forgive me almost immediately,” Sirius said, smirking as he finished off his mead. “Come on,” he said, putting a few galleons on the table, which Lumen made sure to switch out with muggle money when he wasn’t looking. “I’ve got some place I want to show you.”

Lumen let him take her hand and run outside of the pub, the two glancing quickly around before apparating—Lumen closed her eyes, letting Sirius take her wherever it was that he wanted to go. When her feet reached solid ground she opened her eyes to find herself at the fence that she and her friends used to often look at the Shrieking Shack. The elongated, tilted building looked eerie in the oncoming moonlight.

Sirius gave her another one of his secretive smiles before tugging her hand to the right of the building toward a dark part of the forest, which was just near the water separating them from the building. “Where are we going?” she said, ducking under a branch.

The Shrieking Shack was nothing new to her. She hadn’t spent nearly as much time as Sirius had with the others but she’d managed to get inside of it when she’d been following the boys around. She knew it was dark and dank and utterly creepy but she couldn’t imagine why Sirius wanted to show her it—especially when she’d already been there.

“If you’re taking me out here to kill me, Black…” Lumen trailed off, glaring at the head of dark hair in front of her. He whirled around to face her, his eyes squinting as he grinned widely at her.

“See that wouldn’t require so much spontaneity, Lou. I would’ve planned that out very meticulously—you deserve a death to remember,” Sirius said.

“God, you’re morbid,” she said, shuddering ever so slightly at the thought of Sirius plotting out her murder.

“Perks of living with murderous Purebloods,” Sirius said simply before finally twisting toward the water. When she saw that he was literally planning on going in the water she stopped.

“I was not at all prepared for a night time swim, Sirius,” Lumen said, her arms crossed in defiance. Sirius said nothing, simply smiling at her again and carefully placing one foot on the waters surface. Lumen lifted her eyebrows when she saw that his foot didn’t break the surface and instead seemed to remain on an invisible solid surface.

“I charmed this little pathway to stay solid so that when we spent nights with Remus while he wolfed out I could sneak into Hogsmeade and steal us some Firewhisky,” he said simply. “Come on then,” he spoke as he offered his hand to her once more.

With a sigh, Lumen took his hand and allowed him to guide her along the seemingly random pathway. She made sure to mimic his path exactly for fear of accidentally missing and plummeting into the water. Granted, if they were to fall in it wouldn’t exactly be freezing—it was in the middle of April after all.

Sirius stopped in the middle of the water, causing Lumen to crash into his back. He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he faced her toward the sun. “Now watch,” he murmured his lips just brushing the tip of her ear.

They sat in silence for what felt like a very long time, Sirius’ fingers comfortably brushing Lumen’s bare shoulder as her arm was wrapped around his waist. They stared at the sun, watching as it slowly sunk behind the forest but not before shooting colors of blue and purple and pink into the air above, reflecting against the frozen water and dancing along their feet. Lumen released Sirius, glancing down at the colors painting her boots and couldn’t help the grin that spread along her lips.

“Wow,” she murmured simply, glancing up at Sirius who was watching her with an odd twinkle in his eye. “You really are a sap aren’t you?” she laughed, shoving his shoulder. He stumbled back and she was almost sure he would plummet into the water but he managed to right himself before giving her that playful murderous glare.

It was like she could almost sense what was coming next—she tried to run but of course, she didn’t know the path like Sirius did and managed to step in the perfect place. Next thing she knew, his arms were wrapped around her waist and she was flying into the water.


	9. the evaporation of carefreeness.

Lumen surfaced from the icy waters of the Black Lake and immediately wanted to drown Sirius in it. She sputtered water from her lungs and whirled around to find Sirius floating beside her, though his expression was far off. She frowned following his gaze and that’s when she saw it. The array of colors that could not be the sun—the flashing lights that could only be the strikes of battling wizards.

“Sirius,” Lumen whispered. Somehow in that moment all the carefreeness evaporated and fear was taking hold of her heart. He looked at her briefly before returning his gaze to the lights. They couldn’t apparate from there since they were still in school grounds and the lights looked close enough that Lumen feared they might be trying to come into Hogwarts.

Lumen wanted to run and find shelter but she also knew that if those wizards got into Hogwarts it could be catastrophic. With a deep breath she began swimming toward the lights until she found land to easily stand from. Water dripped from her clothes and she shuddered when the wind suddenly seemed biting against her skin.

She withdrew her wand from the pocket of her jeans and with a shaking fist, began moving forward to join the fight. She never made it far though because before she could even reach the forest, arms were around her and pulling her the opposite way.

“What are you doing?” she said, her voice muffled due to Sirius’ arm pressed against her mouth.

“We have to go,” he said, simply. Lumen was shocked; Sirius always wanted to be part of the fight. He always wanted to take down the Death Eaters especially knowing his brother could be among them. Now with the perfect opportunity to join the battle he was pulling away from it. Trying to escape it. “Lumen we don’t have time for this. We have to go now.”

She didn’t argue with him and let him drag her quickly and efficiently behind him until they reached the line separating Hogwarts and the apparating boundaries. Sirius laced his fingers with Lumen’s and the two apparated in front of the house that no longer housed James and Lily. Lumen tore her hand from Sirius’ grip and marched inside, immediately grabbing a piece of parchment and a quill.

She glanced around the room for an ink jar, spotting it across the way before muttering angrily to herself and crossing the room to it. “What are you doing?” Sirius asked, finally following her into the house. The two were still dripping and Lumen was sure she was going to catch a cold from the way that she was shivering.

“I’m writing a letter to Dumbledore,” she stated simply. “He should know about this since we did nothing to stop it,” she growled bitterly. She couldn’t figure out why she was so angry with Sirius pulling her away from the fight. In truth she was mostly grateful—fear had been bubbling in her chest from the moment she saw those lights. She wanted nothing more than to run and hide but that wouldn’t make her the person she wanted to be.

Sirius grabbed hold of Lumen’s shoulder then, forcing her to face him. His look was fierce as he stared at the shivering blonde in front of him. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “You think I’m a coward for running away like that.”

“What else am I supposed to think?” Lumen said, keeping her voice hushed. She wasn’t sure if Peter or Remus were home and something told her she shouldn’t let them overhear the two. “You got so worked up over not being able to help the Prewett’s and when you have the opportunity to go help someone…you run away! The Sirius I know would never run from a fight,” she said, her teeth chattering as she spoke. “I’m also blaming whatever sickness I catch on you,” she grumbled.

Sirius smiled slightly before releasing her and coming back only moments later with a blanket, which he threw over her shoulders. She was immediately encased in the blanket, Sirius was holding the edges of it but she kept her hands tucked close to her armpits. “I’m not a coward, Lou,” he murmured.

“Then what are you?” she sighed, her anger dissipating ever so slightly.

“I’m a fool,” he said so quietly that she almost didn’t hear him. “I didn’t want you getting hurt, that’s why I ran,” he said, this time louder.

“I can take care of myself,” she said, frowning at his words.

“I know but I didn’t want to think what might happen if…if something happened. That’s all. I was afraid for you, Lou.” He smiled again and tucked the blanket tighter around Lumen. “Go get some rest, I’ll write the letter to Dumbledore.”

Lumen felt very confused then but obliged nonetheless. Walking past Sirius and up the stairs but not before looking back at the black haired boy. He was scratching his head, muttering something about being a damn idiot to himself.

Lumen felt very confused, indeed.


	10. this is war.

Lumen knew someone was lying in her bed when she finally woke up. More than likely it was Sirius and she wasn’t surprised when she rolled over to find his gray eyes peering down at her. He was fiddling with his wand in his fingers, tracing the crooks and nicks in the wood, occasionally flicking it in the air to create little bubbles. The bubbles would than fizzle and burst like little silent fireworks. “Dorcas Meadowes died last night,” he said quietly, his fingers squeezing his wand ever so tightly. “Dumbledore said that Voldemort himself was the one to off her.”

Lumen stayed silent as she watched Sirius have some sort of internal battle with himself—her own heart clenching at the news. After their conversation the night before she didn’t know what to say; his words still left an uneasy feeling in her gut and yet she wanted to comfort him even though she thought he was wrong to run away. She placed her hand over his, taking his wand and replacing it with her hand. He laced his fingers with hers and then placed his free hand over the back of hers, a pained smile on his lips.

“This is war,” she murmured, scooting closer so that she could put her head against his stomach, the hardness somehow making a nice pillow. “People die.”

Sirius sighed, taking his free hand and placing it on the back of Lumen’s head. “I don’t want anyone else to die,” he grumbled.

Lumen didn’t speak and the two simply lay together until the sun was fully raised in the sky. After several moments of contemplative silence they finally got up and made their way to the kitchen where Remus and Peter were already sitting. They had empty plates in front of them but the food on the stove was still warm so Lumen and Sirius helped themselves.

Remus and Peter were in a heated debate about some Quidditch team and Lumen could already tell that she would be eating in silence. No sooner than she had taken her first bite of porridge had Sirius joined in the conversation. Suddenly Lumen really missed having a girl in the house.

She ate her breakfast quickly before heading to the sink and muttering tergeo under her breath so that the bowl began to clean itself ; the boys’ dishes also floated on over to the sink and waited in line to be scrubbed clean. Lumen made her way back to her bedroom, deciding it was a good idea to actually shower since she had fallen asleep still in her wet clothes from the night before.

Once in the shower, the steaming water drilling into her shoulders, she was able to let that clenching in her heart break the surface. From the moment Sirius had said Dorcas’ name her chest has tightened and her throat felt as though it were going to burst. Dorcas had been her friend—Dorcas and Marlene McKinnon had sat together almost every day for their meals at Hogwarts. Lumen had confessed her crush for Remus to these girls and it was because of them that she had even gathered the courage to approach the boy.

Lumen hugged her torso, the tears leaking from her eyes blending with the hot water from the shower. She could’ve saved her if it weren’t for Sirius forcing her to leave. She could’ve saved her if Sirius hadn’t been worried about her—for whatever foolish reason he had been worried. Lumen could’ve saved Dorcas…or she could’ve been killed along with her.

If Voldemort had been the one to take Dorcas down then there was almost no chance of Lumen being able to do a thing to stop it. That didn’t ease the guilt she felt in her gut however, nor did it soothe her anger any less.

When she finally emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around her torso, she heard the squeaking of someone moving around on her bed. She sighed, muttering a spell under her breath after grabbing her wand to dry her hair, and made her way into the bedroom.

Again, as if it were his room instead of hers, Sirius sat on her bed. He looked up at her, his long hair falling into his eyes. He actually reminded her very much of a puppy there, his lower lip jutted out ever so slightly and Lumen couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him.

“You realize you’ve basically barged in on a naked girl,” she said, crossing her arms partially to secure the towel covering her naked form.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, honestly, Lou,” Sirius chuckled, his eyes never leaving hers. He was quiet for a moment glancing down at his twisted fingers before returning his gaze to her. “Are you okay?”

“No,” she said, quite bluntly. “I’m terrible actually…Dorcas was my friend…and I didn’t do a thing to stop it,” she murmured, going to sit beside him on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” he said. She knew he was going to begin rambling on about how it was his fault and she just couldn’t bear to hear him place the blame on himself again so she grabbed his hand again.

“If we would’ve gone after them…we’d probably be dead too,” she said. “It’s okay, really. This is war.”

The two were quiet for a moment before Sirius gave her a grim smile. “People die.”


	11. the maternity ward of st. mangos.

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies ...

Lumen was sleeping quite soundly when Remus barged into her room. It seemed that was all she did nowadays was sleep. Her world revolved around fear and the unknown—she was constantly waiting to hear who had died that week and she was always terrified for her family’s safety. She had no idea where they were or if they were happy where they were. All she had to go on was Dumbledore’s word that they would be safe.

“Lou! Get your lazy arse up we’ve got to go!” Remus said as he jumped on her bed, shaking her violently from her sleep. She’d been dreaming about gray eyes and a dark stare when she finally focused on Remus’s excited smile. Three months had passed since Dorcas’ death and everyone had been going on with his or her lives except for Lumen. She’d go with the boys to visit Lily and James, and Frank and Alice always seemed to be there as well, but otherwise she kept to her room. She felt utterly useless in this war, especially because everything had been unnaturally quiet as of late. There was nothing really for them to do.

“What the hell do you want, you bastard?” Lumen grumbled, rolling over and burying her face in her pillow.

“Alice and Lily have both gone into labor! Come on, we’ve got to go!” he said, tugging on Lumen’s arm. At the words Lumen seemed to suddenly wake right up and found herself darting out of bed and sprinting around the room as she readied herself to go. Moments later she and Remus were trotting down the stairs. “Sirius and Peter have gone ahead of us,” he explained as she glanced around the empty living room.

Moments later the two were intertwining fingers and apparating to just outside St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries—or rather outside the condemned department store, Purge and Dowse, Ltd. They each stepped through the red window of the shop instantly appearing in the entry hall to the hospital. The two rushed to the secretary, a kind faced plump woman with purple eyes and immediately began spouting out questions. “Where’s Lily Potter?” “Where’s the Longbottom’s?” They both spoke at the same time and the nurse looked at them with slight alarm in her expression.

She took her sweet time shuffling through a few files before finally turning to face them and spoke quite slowly and very calmly. “Lily Potter, maiden name Evans…is in the connecting building for unrelated Magical Maladies and Injuries. Third floor, room twelve. Alice Longbottom…” Remus and Lumen had stopped listening and had simply turned to make their way to the connecting building.

“Bloody hell,” Remus grumbled, stepping through another enchanted doorway before emerging into the maternity ward of St. Mungo’s. “You know, it’d never occurred to me before today that Mungo’s had a place like this available.”

“Babies freak me out,” Lumen admitted, cringing ever so slightly when a baby started wailing somewhere in the distance. “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to even hold Alice and Lily’s kids let alone be in this room much longer.”

She shuddered when a woman carrying a baby passed her and the baby spit up all over a little cloth draped over her shoulder. “Poor Lily,” she muttered, reaching over to grab Remus’ arm as he guided her to the third floor. When they finally reached it, it was no surprise to find Dumbledore, Sirius and Peter all sitting anxiously in matching purple chairs.

“Hello Remus!” Dumbledore said cheerily, pulling out a lemon drop and tossing it in his mouth. “Good afternoon, Lumen. This is a lovely occasion, is it not?”

Remus nodded in agreement and Lumen just felt rather green. Dumbledore looked at the blonde with a pitiful smile before offering her a lemon drop as well. “Helps with the nausea,” he explained, winking at her as she unwrapped the candy and put it in her mouth. Almost instantly, relief flooded through her stomach and she no longer felt the urge to hurl.

Peter was talking animatedly with a giant of a man, one she hadn’t seen in what felt like ages. Rubeus Hagrid took up nearly the entire hallway; he had to hunch over in order to entirely fit. His beard was bushy and massive hiding most of his face, but somehow still managed to show the kindness in his eyes and the near constant smile on his lips.

Sirius on the other hand was sitting in his purple chair, his hands clasped together in front of him as he hunched over, staring intently at a doorknob. Lumen carefully made her way over to sit next to him—everyone otherwise engaged now, and gently put her hand on his shoulder. He didn’t startle at the touch but simply shifted his gaze to her and she lifted her eyebrows in surprise that it looked utterly panicked.

“You okay?” she asked and Sirius nodded slowly.

“James asked me to be godfather,” he said with a smile, the words immediately explaining how nervous he was. “That’s a huge responsibility. I mean…I’m…what if something happens? That little kid will look up to me and…” Lumen had grabbed Sirius’ face then, immediately cutting off his words.

“You’ll do great, Black. Don’t you worry about a thing. You’ll make a great god dad.”

Sirius grabbed Lumen’s wrist, bringing her hand down to link their fingers and sighed. He leaned his head against her shoulder and closed his eyes. “Kids freak me out,” he grumbled.

Lumen couldn’t help but laugh at the familiar words. “Believe me, I know.”


	12. the day harry potter was born.

Late into the night of July 30th, 1980 Neville Longbottom was born. Lumen and the others all sat out in the hall eagerly waiting for the moment that they would get to meet the Longbottom’s newborn son. Frank had come out with wide, bloodshot eyes looking as though he were about to fall over from exhaustion but the smile on his face was enough to light the entire room. “Neville is here!” he said instantly running to Lumen and wrapping his arms around the girl. She laughed, hugging him back and releasing him but not before repeating her statement about how terrible a name Neville was.  
  
Only hours later, on July 31st , did James mimic Frank’s actions—coming out of Lily’s room with an equally wide grin. “It’s a boy,” he said looking to all his friends with incredible joy. Lily and James had chosen to wait to find the gender of the baby out and Lumen wondered what they were going to name him.  
  
“What’s his name then?” Peter said, his tiny little eyes squinting as he looked at his friend. Dumbledore beamed at them all, patting a now bawling Hagrid on the back.  
  
“Harry! Harry Potter!”  
  
“That’s a much better name than Neville,” Lumen said, nudging Sirius’ shoulder. He chuckled, grinning down at the blonde as she rested her head on his arm. It had been hours of waiting and while the excitement still buzzed throughout the little group of friends, she was almost positive that if she sat down for even a moment she would fall asleep.  
  
“The Healer says we’ve got to let Lily rest,” James said, yawning as he glanced over his shoulder. “She’s already passed out and they’ve got to clean Harry up for us—I imagine it’ll be the same with Alice.”  
  
“I think it’s a good idea for us all to get some rest,” Dumbledore said with a smile. “James, there are some things I need to discuss with you…when you’re ready of course,” he said and James’ smile dimmed a bit before he nodded. He then retreated back into Lily’s room while the rest of them made their way out of the hospital doors.  
  
“What was that all about?” Lumen asked.  
  
“Beats me,” Peter said with a shrug.  
  
Lumen looked at him as though he had appeared out of nowhere before punching him in the arm. “Where the hell have you been?” she asked, glowering at the tiny boy. Peter had always been incredibly short yet quite adorable. He was quiet and they all teased him for it but Lumen loved him just the same as the other three.  
  
“Oh you know, here and there,” Peter shrugged, his ears turning red.  
  
“You better have found a girlfriend or something and that’s what’s occupying all your time. I will not stand for you abandoning me,” Lumen said, her tone harsh but a smile on her lips. “Seriously though, have you found yourself a pretty girl yet? I imagine you dating an equally tiny brunette and the two of you can have little mice like children.”  
  
“Leave the kid alone, Lou,” Sirius chuckled, appearing behind the two to put his arm around Lumen’s shoulders. Peter’s face was incredibly red but he was smiling from ear to ear as though he had missed Lumen as much as she missed him.  
  
Lumen simply rolled her eyes at Sirius before looping her arm through his and placing her cheek against his shoulder. “Are we getting breakfast or are we going to bed?” she asked, looking up at him. Sirius pondered a moment before catching sight of a bakery across from St. Mungo’s.  
  
“Let’s grab some pastries and eat them in bed?” he suggested and Lumen simply nodded before allowing him to tug her along behind him. Remus and Peter seemed to follow their plan while Hagrid and Dumbledore had apparated most likely back to Hogwarts.  
  
The four of them ordered their pastries while Lumen took care of the paying since the idiots still didn’t understand muggle money—no matter how many times she and Lily taught them it seemed they would always be oblivious to the bills. Lumen had ordered a croissant with chocolate filling and was eagerly tearing into it even before Sirius grabbed her hand to apparate to the house.  
  
The two of them made their way to her room while Remus and Peter went to sit in the kitchen. Moments later and Lumen was comfortably resting her head on Sirius’ chest while he was picking at a blueberry muffin. “I have to tell you something,” he said.  
  
“Hmm?” If Lumen had glanced behind her she would’ve seen the worry in Sirius’ eyes but she was more focused on her croissant and his free hand roaming through her blonde hair.  
  
“You can’t say anything to anyone though, okay?”  
  
“Whatever it is, I’ll keep it safe,” she promised with a smile.  
  
Sirius was quiet for a moment, chewing on his lip in thought. The words burning at the back of his throat were ready to come spilling out but something about watching Lumen pick at that croissant like a little child made him want to say nothing. She looked so content in that moment and he found he couldn’t ruin it. “I’ll tell you later,” he said, setting his muffin on the bedside table and wrapping his other arm around her stomach.  
  
“Mmk,” Lumen said, finishing her croissant and rolling on her side to snuggle into Sirius’ chest. “I feel like all I do is sleep,” she muttered.  
  
“You lead a very exciting life,” Sirius reasoned.  
  
“Shut up, bastard,” she grumbled, closing her eyes and falling into another deep slumber.

 


	13. the other black

Lumen was carrying a large duffle bag as she followed Sirius down the pathway he had taken her to previously. Remus was quite a ways ahead of them glancing over his shoulder every so often with wide eyes—she knew he was searching for the moon. Peter and James were just behind her and she found herself wondering what on earth she was even doing there. But then she’d hear the shout behind her and in her peripheral vision she’d see red and green lights.  
  
It was meant to be just a few drinks at Hog’s Head until the sky began to darken then Remus and the boys would head up to the Shrieking Shack for his monthly transformation and Lumen would apparate back to Lily’s place. It had been several weeks since Harry was born and everyone was absolutely in love with the boy and Lumen knew that James hated the thought of being away from him even for a night, so she promised to act as substitute—but James showed up at the last moment anyway.  
  
They were just about to depart when they appeared, their cloaks like smoke and the snake-eye masks seeming to stand out in the dusk. Sirius had shouted at Lumen to apparate home but she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the boys alone so she ran with them. The second she knew they were safe in the Shack she would make her way to an apparating point.  
  
“Keep moving,” Peter whispered behind her, placing his hand on her upper back. She looked into his small eyes and let out a sigh at the kindness in them. “Here,” he murmured, taking the duffle bag from her—they had stuffed it full of snacks from Honeyduke’s knowing full well they’d get hungry during the night. Peter unzipped the bag and pulled out a chocolate frog and handed it to her. “Chocolate makes everything better,” he promised and Lumen smiled before tearing at the wrapping and biting the head off the frog.  
  
“Thanks, Pete.”  
  
Peter nodded falling back again so that they resumed their odd little defensive line. Lumen’s wand was shaking in her free hand as she walked behind Sirius, a little too closely so that they weren’t as evenly spaced out, as they should be. He glanced behind him when she accidentally stepped on the back of his foot and smiled, reaching back so that he could lace his fingers with hers.  
  
The act was so simple but somehow sent a spurt of warmth in her chest, making her nerves quell almost instantly. “Not too far now,” Remus announced, his voice hushed. “Are we okay?” he asked, glancing back and catching James’ eye. James who was the tail end of their line nodded, though his frown was deep as he looked at the dangerously dark sky.  
  
“We need to get moving, we don’t have much time.”  
  
In unison, the group all looked to the sky seeing that the sky was no longer a very dull blue but a slowly evolving blackness and it seemed to spark a fear in each of their struts. Everyone increased their speed so that when they finally found the Whomping Willow, an audible breath left each of them. Peter dropped the duffle bag, unzipping his coat and seemed to shrink in on himself until there was nothing but a bundle of clothes left in his wake.  
  
“I don’t know about this,” Sirius said, his fingers still linked with Lumen’s.  
  
“I’ll be fine. I promise. They’re probably gone now…it was foolish of them to come so close to Hogwarts. I bet you Dumbledore scared them off right away,” she promised as the Whomping Willow stilled behind her. “Go on then, you’ve got a wolf to take care of.”  
  
Sirius glanced at the tree, watching as Remus and then James disappeared into the secret door. He looked back at her and let out a groan before nodding and giving her a chaste hug before following his friends.  
  
Lumen watched him go before finally turning and making her way back down the path they had come. Sirius was right to tell her to leave when they were still in Hogsmeade. The path was directly through the Forbidden Forest, while it was protected with an enchantment placed by no other than Dumbledore, it didn’t block out the sounds from within the forest. Lumen’s heart leapt in her throat as she sped down the path hearing groaning and screams of birds and whatever else was in the forest’s depths.  
  
She was so busy worrying over the noises that she didn’t even realize what was directly in front of her until she ran into it. Lumen cried out, falling back and landing uncomfortably on her wrist. Instantly she cradled it to her chest, glancing up and realizing that she’d made a huge mistake. One of the snake-eyed masks that only could’ve belonged to a Death Eater was cocking its head at her.  
  
“Oh god,” she whispered, before scrabbling backwards on her hands and feet until she was able to stand and point her wand at the Death Eater. “ _Stu-_ ” the wand went flying from her grasp and into the Death Eater’s hand.  
  
The Death Eater held his hands up in mock surrender, two wands in his left hand but neither pointing at her. He lifted his free hand and removed the mask, it disappeared like smoke and Lumen’s heart began thumping harder in her throat. “Hello, Lou,” he said with a strange smile.  
  
“Regulus,” Lumen said, her throat tight as she spoke. Regulus smiled, pulling the hood of his cloak down so that his long hair came out ruffled as the wind blew it across his face. The resemblance between Regulus and his brother was so striking that Lumen had to bite her tongue from gasping but there was something much more sinister behind Regulus’ eyes than she’d ever seen in Sirius’.  
  
Regulus smirked, his eyes flickering to the ground before he looked up through his lashes at the blonde. “Where’s my brother, Lumen? Where is Sirius?”


	14. the boy who wasn't really regulus.

There was a time when Regulus had fancied Lumen. While she pined after Remus and followed him around like a lost puppy dog he would watch her. He would scoff at her ignorance and wonder how she could be so foolish to want _Remus_ when she could have _Regulus_. This was a fleeting desire as all school romances usually were and its spell quickly wore off—however now that he had Lumen lying at his feet he couldn’t help the wicked grin that was painted across his lips.  
  
Lumen had remained quiet after he had asked his question but even in that silence it was as though the beating of her heart was banging like a drum. Regulus couldn’t help but chuckle as he bent down, his nimble fingers curling around her wrists and yanking her to her feet. Lumen let out a little squeak as she was hauled into the air and then the breath was knocked from her lungs as Regulus pushed her against a nearby tree trunk.  
  
He smelled like mint and sweat and something sour and something in that scent was very much _not_ Regulus. Lumen had known Regulus…he was only a few years younger than her but that didn’t mean that when the two attended Hogwarts together that she hadn’t spoken to him. He had been quite kind to her at one point but whenever she’d been close enough to him to smell him he had smelt like…cinnamon.  
  
“Let go of me,” she hissed and the Regulus who couldn’t really be Regulus chuckled and ran a long finger down the side of her face.  
  
“You know, I always liked you, Lou. Even though you were a fool all through school…chasing around those idiot muggle lovers when you could’ve done so much better. Even with your dirty blood status I’m sure the Dark Lord could’ve seen past it…besides you’re much prettier than Cissy.”  
  
Something in that voice made her skin crawl and almost immediately she knew who was really hiding beneath Regulus’ face. Lumen’s stomach lurched and she jerked against his hold trying hard to get him to release her. “I know who you are,” she whispered. “What did you do to Regulus?”  
  
Regulus’ face twisted as though he was displeased at her finding him out but it vanished almost as quickly and that wicked grin was back. “I was hoping you might play along if it was your dear Sirius’ brother…Regulus always managed to get a rise out of you,” he murmured, his fingers clasping around her chin.  
  
“Tell me…where is James? Tell me where he is and I won’t have to hurt you.”  
  
“I’d like to see you try…Lucius.”  
  
“You really are no fun are you?” Lucius chuckled and leaned forward. Lumen closed her eyes waiting for whatever it was he was going to do to her but suddenly his fingers were scraping across her cheek and she found the space before her empty.  
  
She opened her eyes finding that Lucius was gone. Glancing to her right she saw that he was now a crumpled mess, struggling to get up and her wand was now at her feet. She bent down, scooping hers and his wand before turning to find a head of dark hair running at her.  
  
“Are you alright?” Sirius shouted, murder in his eyes after he cast another spell at Lucius. Lumen nodded and after thoroughly searching her body with his eyes he finally turned his gaze to the unconscious boy by the trees. Regulus was no longer there however and instead there was just a white blonde head of hair and the sharp faced Lucius Malfoy in his place. “I could’ve sworn I saw…”  
  
“Sirius we have to get out of here,” Lumen said, grasping Sirius’ arm. “He was looking for James. We can’t be here when he wakes up.”  
  
“He’s out cold, what harm can he do?” Sirius asked, his brow furrowed and a terrifying rage boiling his eyes.  
  
“Sirius, _please_. Let’s go.”  
  
After a moment’s pause, Sirius nodded and curled his fingers through Lumen’s before pulling her back along the path.

 


	15. the destroyed homes.

The two apparated just outside of their little blue house, fingers still interlocked and matching expressions of dismay on their faces. Sirius took the first step forward but Lumen pulled him back. He glanced at her distraught face, her hair wild and dirty, leaves and twigs nesting there. He grabbed one fairly obvious stick and pulled it gently from her blonde locks. “Sirius, they wanted James…” she whispered, glancing up at him with large eyes. “Lucius was posing as _your_ brother, looking for _James_.”  
  
“But why wasn’t it just Regulus doing the part. He’s a Death Eater,” Sirius said, his brow furrowing. The answer was very obvious but neither wanted to say it out loud. If Regulus wasn’t there to look for his brother most likely he was dead. Lumen wondered if it hurt Sirius to know his brother might be gone. She squeezed his hand, regaining his attention. “How did they know where to find us?”  
  
The thought had never occurred to her. The Whomping Willow was their secret place. No one but James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lumen and Dumbledore knew where it was. There was one other person who could’ve told them though. “Snape,” Sirius growled suddenly. “That little hook-nosed bastard. Bloody Snivellus.”  
  
Lumen sighed, before releasing Sirius’ hand and trudging inside but she realized something very wrong in that moment. The door was slightly ajar and there was no one home, that much was she was absolutely positive. She grabbed her newly regained wand from her back pocket and wielded it shakily. She didn’t need to speak to tell Sirius to do the same as the two slowly entered the building.  
  
It was a disaster. It looked as though a tornado had gone through the house and turned everything upside down. The carpet was pulled up from the ground; the bookshelves were cracked in half, books and pages littering the ground like snow. The carpets were ripped open, their innards adding to the snow-covered ground. The two canvassed the house but any intruder that may have been there were gone now.  
  
“How did they know?” Lumen said once they were sure the house was empty. “How did they know where to find us?”  
  
“Snape had no idea about this place…” Sirius said, his face looking even more distraught. “It had to be one of us.”  
  
Lumen had never known what betrayal felt like. She was sure Sirius did with his family disowning him and his brother choosing the Death Eaters over him. She was sure he was used to having the people he thought he loved turn against him. But the thought of one of their own…one of the people she trusted with her whole being turn against them was like a knife in the heart. If they knew where Remus’ Willow was and if they knew where Lumen was supposed to be….  
  
“They were here to find me,” she murmured. She couldn’t have been the only one they were looking for though and so with sudden clarity she looked to Sirius with wide eyes. “Lily,” she gasped, running outside and apparating almost instantaneously to the new home of the Potter’s. “Lily!” she screamed, running to the building and tearing open the door. The house looked very much the same as hers. Everything turned over and destroyed, but there was no sign of Lily. None at all.  
  
Sirius appeared shortly after her glancing around the home with a face of equal horror.  
  
“God no, not Lily,” he whispered.

 


	16. the great surprise.

There was a bitter taste in Lumen’s mouth as she crouched low, her eyes scouring the remnants of the Potter residence. There was no sign of Lily. No sign of Harry. It was foolish of them to think that they could be without James and be safe. Lumen should’ve stayed with Lily instead of going with the boys to take Remus. Someone should’ve been with Lily. This never would’ve happened if someone had stayed here…there was no telling what had become of them. Were they obliterated into nothing? Or were they simply taken?  
  
A dry sob racked Lumen’s chest, her hands clutching painfully at her ribs. Sirius placed his hand gently on Lumen’s back, guiding her back to her feet so that he could wrap his arms around her torso. “This is all my fault.” she whispered, and his fingers combed comfortingly through her hair. “I should’ve been here…we should’ve known they wouldn’t be safe.”  
  
“Come on, Lou,” Sirius murmured, his lips close to her ear. “No one could’ve guessed it. Everyone always talked about how Lily was one of the brightest witches her age…we all would’ve thought she’d be okay…but…”  
  
“You were very right,” came a voice from behind them. They both jumped apart, turning to find Albus Dumbledore standing in the doorway of the Potter residence. His hands were clasped together in front of him, his moon-shaped spectacles glimmering in what little light was left in the house. “Lily and Harry are safe.”  
  
Just like that all the horrid thoughts in Lumen’s mind evaporated, that bitter taste and that pressure behind her eyes vanished. “They’re alive?”  
  
“Quite,” Albus said with a nod. “Come with me and I will explain everything.”  
  
Moments later both Sirius and Lumen had clasped hands with Albus and allowed him to apparate them to a place called Godric’s Hollow. They released hands and Lumen glanced around noting how cryptic and dark the place seemed. There was a cemetery on their left not too far away and rows upon rows of boarded up homes. Albus led the way to a house down the street that actually seemed much cheerier than the others, perhaps because it was brick instead of painted gray.  
  
The three entered the home and the sound of a baby’s fussing could be heard at the doorway. Suddenly Lumen found herself sprinting toward that sound and found Lily sitting on the couch with Harry in her lap. Frank and Alice were on the couch opposite her, coddling their little Neville. Lumen found herself wanting to cry at the sight.  
  
“You’re alright,” she gasped and Lily looked up with quirked eyebrows.  
  
“Well of course, I’m alright, what made you think I wouldn’t be?” Sirius looked at Lumen with a grin and let out a genuine laugh.

 


	17. the prophecy.

Sirius and Lumen sat on one of the couches pushed against the far wall of the house together, their fingers linked as they watched Dumbledore situate himself. He was taking a frustratingly long time, adjusting his pillows and conjuring up a pot of tea, which he insisted everyone drink—especially Lumen. He had promised he’d tell the two of them everything that was going on, why the houses were empty and how they had been able to sense the oncoming attack. Frank and Alice had disappeared; laying Neville down for bed while Harry gazed up at his mother with his mouth hanging open. He had his chubby little hands wrapped tightly around Lily’s index finger, and kept letting out a high pitched giggle every time she would look at him.  
  
“James and the others are fine, by the way,” Dumbledore finally said, looking pointedly at Sirius. “They made it to the Whomping Willow with no problems and I imagine the boys are having a grand time keeping Remus at bay. It was good of you really, to follow Lumen as you did. Otherwise she might not be here with us now,” Dumbledore murmured and it was almost as if all the tension in Sirius evaporated and the death grip she didn’t realize he’d had on her fingers loosened.  
  
“How did you know the Death Eaters would be attacking our homes tonight?” Lumen asked and Dumbledore sighed, leaning back and adjusting his moon-shaped spectacles.  
  
“It would seem…that we have a traitor in our midst,” Dumbledore sighed and Sirius’ grip on Lumen tightened once more. “Sadly one of our own has decided to turn against us and inform the Death Eaters of our whereabouts.”  
  
Dumbledore sighed and glanced over at Lily who was smiling kindly at her son but there was utter disappointment written in her eyes. “Do we have any idea who it is?” Lumen asked, anger brimming in her chest. If there was a spy it had to be someone close to them. Someone they all knew and trusted and she couldn’t land on a single name and fully believe they were responsible.  
  
“We are doing our best to find them, I assure you. But in the meantime we are looking for a new location for both the Potters and the Longbottoms.”  
  
“What about us?” Sirius asked.  
  
“We are searching for you as well, though I do not believe that you have to worry. They were not searching for you or for Lumen. They were looking for Harry. And for Neville.”  
  
“Harry?” Lily said sharply, pulling her infant closer to her chest. “What do they want with Harry?”  
  
“And Neville,” Frank said, looking at Lily almost indignantly.  
  
“It is my belief that they were looking for one boy or the other, not both. Which is why we must keep the both of them safe,” Dumbledore said simply, taking another maddeningly calm sip from his tea.  
  
“ _Why_?” Lumen said, as Dumbledore lifted his blue eyes to hers.  
  
“Yesterday evening, I was in the Hog’s Head pub conducting an interview with a Miss. Sybil Trelawney. It would seem that Sybil indeed possesses the sight for she made a prophecy during our interview. This prophecy stated that a child born at the end of the seventh month would be the undoing of the Dark Lord,” Dumbledore said, his gaze never leaving Lumen’s.  
  
“And that means Harry? Or Neville?”  
  
“I believe so. Though, it seems that only the place Lily and James were known to be staying were searched.”  
  
“So they’re after Harry then?” Sirius said, his grip on Lumen’s hand becoming increasingly painful.  
  
“It would seem so. What I suggest we all do is get some rest,” Dumbledore said and before anyone could object he quickly added, “In the morning when James, Remus and Peter have returned we will discuss further arrangements. We can do nothing without James present,” Dumbledore said and there was such finality in his tone that no one said anything more.  
  
Lily showed Lumen and Sirius to the spare bedrooms in the house before taking Harry with her to her own room. She was even paler than usual, her skin looking sallow and sickly as she clutched Harry to her chest. Lumen watched her go, clutching the doorframe and feeling such a powerful ache in her chest that she did not know what to do. She looked once at the empty bedroom in front of her and immediately walked away from it to the bedroom just to the left of it.  
  
She found Sirius there sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, his dark hair falling forward and curtaining his face. Lumen shut the door as quietly as she could before walking to him and sitting on the floor, wrapping her arms around his legs, pressing her cheek to his knee. “Someone betrayed us,” she said, numbly.  
“But who,” Sirius croaked, his voice muffled by his hands.  
  
“I don’t know,” Lumen whispered, but in the back of her mind the dream she had only a few weeks ago haunted her. She remembered the look on Sirius’ face as he dropped to Peter’s dead body. “ _All of this, because of you!_ ” But it couldn’t be Peter…it was just a dream, nothing more.  
  
In that moment, as Sirius finally lifted his face and placed his hand on the back of her head, she vowed she would never even whisper about that dream.


	18. the plan from dumbledore.

The next morning when Remus, James and Peter returned was anarchy. They knew something had gone amiss when Sirius had failed to show back up to help them maintain Remus and hearing the story of Lumen’s attack all the color in poor Remus’ face drained. He immediately strode over to where Lumen sat on the arm of a poofy velvet red chair and took her face in his hands. Lumen was rather alarmed by this sudden affectionate gesture. Remus was one of the most reserved of the group, keeping himself to himself most times because of his affliction. “Lumen, I…if anything had happened to you because of…”  
  
“It wasn’t because of you,” Sirius said suddenly and sharply. Remus lifted his gaze from Lumen’s face and rested it on Sirius. His questioning look was enough to press Sirius to keep going. “Malfoy had taken polyjuice potion…they were imitating Regulus. They were looking for me,” he sighed.  
  
“Surely they must know you’d never have gone with him?” Remus said, straightening up, his hands dropping from Lumen’s face. “Not now that he’s a Death Eater.”  
  
“He must’ve left them…they wouldn’t have needed someone to impersonate him otherwise,” Sirius said, his gaze dropping. Lumen wondered if this changed his feelings toward Regulus. His parents had been so proud of Regulus for becoming a Death Eater but now that he had left she wondered if Sirius thought him brave or simply a coward. She wouldn’t dare ask him, she decided upon catching sight of the look in his eye.  
  
“They’re after Harry,” James said quietly, finally turning away from the fireplace. When they had recited Dumbledore’s tale to him he had remained quiet, simply staring into the fireplace. Lily had kept her gaze on him, her brow furrowed in worry. Harry was resting upstairs with Neville while Alice looked after the two—but as her fingers convulsively clutched around the arms of the chair it was obvious she wished to have him in her arms.  
  
This time Frank said nothing—it had become obvious to him, as well that it was Harry they had chosen not Neville. While this granted him some small relief, it was immediately washed away by guilt.  
  
“I am afraid so,” came the voice of Albus Dumbledore. James made no startled movement but everyone else’s head whipped around in alarm at his sudden appearance. “I have taken the evening to consider our options.”  
  
“ _Our_ options?” said James, his voice louder now. “Sorry, Dumbledore, but your son isn’t being targeted by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,” James cried, his voice bordering on frantic.  
  
“You are very correct, James,” Dumbledore said, his voice solemn but his gaze fierce. Lumen could feel the fire die from James almost immediately as though Dumbledore’s words were water to the flames. “But we are all in this together and if I am not mistaken everyone in this room cares very much for Harry.”  
  
After a brief pause of everyone nodding their consensus Dumbledore continued after stepping further into the room and drawing up his own poofy blue armchair to sit in. “The best course of action is to set up a new place of residence for you and to place a Fidelius charm on the household as well. I believe I have found a suitable place for you in Godric’s Hollow,” Dumbledore said.  
  
“That…that sounds perfect,” Lily said after no one else seemed able to answer. “Thank you.”  
  
Dumbledore held his hand up but smiled very sincerely at Lily. “Do not thank me, my dear. It is the least I can do. It will also be the perfect spot for me to keep an eye on you,” he said with a slight smile. “After all, I have my own place of residence in Godric’s Hollow as well.”  
  
Lumen made eye contact with Sirius and had to suppress a smile. She suspected the two of them had the same thought. How strange it was to imagine Dumbledore actually living anywhere but Hogwarts.


	19. the best day of sirius black's life.

Lumen sat at a finely polished wooden table, her chin resting in her hand while her free hand clasped her wand. She twirled it in lazy motions watching as the boiling pot on the stove across from her was stirred. It was quiet times like these where she found herself thinking of Roman and of her parents. She wondered if they liked it where they were. She hoped they were happy and not worried about her. God, was she glad they didn’t know about just the last couple days.  
  
It had taken less than a day to move Lily and James into the new place in Godric’s Hollow. Most of their things had been repaired with a simple wave of Dumbledore’s wand and transported into the new home. The whole gang was there now, exploring the new house while Lumen kept to herself in the kitchen, making sure the potatoes didn’t burn. She was glad for the solitude, however brief it may be. It gave her time to think.  
  
There was someone among them who had betrayed them, but who? Not a single person in the Order would’ve given them away she couldn’t bare to think it. No one in this house would either—she refused to believe anything so awful. Frank, Alice, Remus, Sirius, Peter…just considering it made her cringe. However, that dream kept popping up in her mind at moments she least wanted it to. She kept envisioning Sirius clutching onto Peter’s chest, sobbing. “ _All of this, because of you!_ ” It was just a dream though, that’s all. Just a terrible, terrible nightmare.  
  
“How’s it going in here,” came a soft voice. Lumen started, nearly upending the chair she was in as she turned to face Remus. He smiled apologetically and joined her at the table. “James has asked Sirius to be the Secret Keeper,” he murmured. Lumen wasn’t sure but she thought she might’ve detected a slight hint of bitterness. She was sure she was imagining things though—it had always been like that. Sirius and James were best friends, of course he was going to ask him.  
  
“That’s great,” Lumen said, all sincerity in her words though she couldn’t help the worry in her heart. They would know it was Sirius—Severus Snape was a Death Eater and he was all too aware of the relationship between Sirius and James. What if they kidnapped Sirius? What if they tried to torture the secret out of him?  
  
“He’s refused,” Remus said. Lumen turned her wide eyed gaze to Remus, relief flooding in her veins. “Personally, it’s a very wise decision. They’d target Sirius in a heartbeat,” Remus murmured, running a hand down his tired face.  
  
“Yeah,” Lumen breathed, wanting to rush to Sirius and hug him for being so smart. “So who’s going to be Secret Keeper instead?”  
  
“I’m not sure…but we’ll find out soon enough,” Remus sighed.  
  
A quarter of an hour later dinner was ready. Remus assisted Lumen in plating the large dining table in the next room and bringing out all the dishes. It took a moment to wrangle everyone in the same room but eventually they were all sat at the table and serving themselves. “Looks great, Lou,” James muttered.  
  
The tension at the table was palpable. Sirius and James didn’t speak the entire meal and no one else dared to disrupt the silence. It was clear they wall feared an argument—possibly a continuation of one.  
  
When the meal was finished and the table cleared and the dishes cleaned Lumen decided it was time for her to turn in. Dumbledore had found a place for her and the boys just as easily as he had found one for the Potters and the Longbottoms. It seemed he just had an infinite supply of homes available for the use of the Order. He had placed a Fidelius Charm on each of their homes as well. Lily was to be Secret Keeper for the Longbottoms and Mad Eye Moody had agreed to do it for Lumen and the boy’s.  
  
As Lumen hugged everyone goodbye and began heading for the door, someone grabbed her hand. She turned and unsurprisingly found Sirius grabbing his jacket. The two stepped outside together in silence, a light drizzle had started and the sky was the light blue from night just falling.  
  
The two apparated to their new residence in silence but as Sirius went to go towards the house Lumen grabbed the sleeve of his jacket to stop him. He looked back at her in question and Lumen took a deep breath before speaking. “I’m glad you didn’t agree to be Secret Keeper. When Remus told me all I could think of was them getting to you and hurting you to find out where Harry is and it…I…” the way Sirius was looking at her made her fade off before she swallowed thickly and tried again. “I couldn’t live without you.” It hadn’t been what she meant to say but it’s what came out.  
  
They stood there staring at each other, their hair gradually getting damp from the now more fervent rain. It was only a moment but it seemed like a lifetime that they stood in that spot. Sirius was the one to take the first step forward. He grabbed the back of Lumen’s head and brought his lips down to hers, his other hand holding the side of her face. Lumen wrapped her arms around his back, clutching his jacket with a fevered desperation.  
  
Sirius Black thought that might’ve been the best day of his life.


	20. the traitor.

Some days one wakes up with the brightest of smiles on their faces. Perhaps that’s because they had a particularly good dream—perhaps it’s because of the person lying next to them or perhaps it’s simply because a kiss you hadn’t expected took hold of their heart and lit it on fire.  
  
Lumen had slept alone that night, the prospect of having Sirius share her bed was too inviting but she wanted to have the night to think of things. She knew from the moment his lips touched hers that she loved him. Maybe it was all the nights they spent in each other’s arms or the knowing glances, the ability to read each others minds or maybe it was simply from that very instant. Her heart felt enormous, like it was stuck in her throat and it wanted to burst from her lips in a flutter of doves.  
  
From the moment she left her bedroom she knew she would never sleep alone again. It went like that for almost a little over a year. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named still instilled terror in their hearts but things seemed almost lighter somehow in Lumen’s little home. Peter and Remus made themselves scarce around the house—Lumen had chalked it up to them being uncomfortable over Sirius and her newfound relationship. Sirius had other ideas, ideas he still refused to share with Lumen though all he would say was that after a year they might’ve gotten used to it.  
  
Lily and James had been confined to their home in Godric’s Hollow, though James still managed to sneak around in his special invisibility cloak. The latest letter Lily had written to Sirius though told them that Dumbledore had borrowed it. Lumen assumed that Dumbledore knew of James’ wanderings and took the cloak to prevent it—they all knew he could become invisible without a cloak.  
  
Lumen and the others often visited Lily and James and members of the Order were always stopping by with presents for little Harry. Sirius and Lumen had picked out a broomstick for Harry and from the picture Lily had sent he seemed to be a natural at flying already. Lumen had laughed that he would probably end up a seeker like his father.  
  
Things were all right.  
  
Then Halloween came. Lumen hadn’t thought of her nightmare in a long time. It wasn’t until she was preparing for the Halloween party they were throwing that she found Peter pacing in the hallways muttering to himself. He had been extremely scarce these past couple of days and she couldn’t get a straight answer out of him as to why.  
  
She didn’t say a word but hid herself round the corner trying to listen. “I should warn them,” he muttered. “No…no, if I do he’ll kill me.” He continued these ramblings and Lumen felt her heartbeat quicken. She instantly flashed back to her nightmare and Sirius’ words over Peter’s lifeless body. “ _All of this, because of you!_ ”  
  
Lumen was so lost in thought that she almost didn’t notice Peter heading to the door. Without a second thought she followed him, quickly casting a disillusionment charm over herself. She feared he would apparate and she would have no way to follow him but he simply continued to walk, past all the little shops on the street and past all the bistros that were just now closing down. Everywhere they walked there were false cobweb hangings and fake rubber bats hanging above them—the smell of pumpkin pie wafting out of the still open doors of the bistros. Lumen thought suddenly of her own pie still in the oven—she really hoped that Remus would have enough sense to remove it if he ever looked up from his book.  
  
Peter finally turned a corner leading to the road guiding cars out of the little town. On either side was a small copse of trees and Peter took the one on the right until they were in a rather dense thicket of trees. He sighed, letting the hood of his cloak down and turning to face Lumen though she was sure her charm was good enough that he couldn’t see her but when he spoke her beliefs were shot down.  
  
“You can lift the charm, Lou, I know you’re there,” Peter said in a defeated voice. She did as instructed and crossed her arms, her wand gripped tightly in her left hand. Peter looked miserably as he gazed upon Lumen’s confused face. “You really shouldn’t have followed me,” he said, tears popping into his eyes.  
  
“Why’s that?”  
  
Peter didn’t answer but his eyes were shifting around quickly, searching for something among the trees. “I did this for you,” he whispered, his eyes still not meeting hers.  
  
“Did what for me, Peter?” Lumen asked, daring to take another step closer. This brought Peter’s attention to her.  
  
“Giving them up…James…Lily,” he said with a thick gulp. “The Dark Lord promised that when he Harry was dead…no harm would come to you…I saved you, Lumen. We can be together—“ Peter broke off, his eyes widening in fear.  
  
“Peter…no…Peter what have you done?” Lumen whispered, her throat clenching in horror.  
  
“Wormtail has simply done what his master has commanded,” a high cold voice said behind her.

 


	21. the end.

Lumen froze at the sound of the voice. It caused every hair to stand on end, it sent shivers of hate, it was the epitome of fear. She continued to stare at Peter, her betrayal and heartbreak must’ve been evident because he couldn’t look at her. Or maybe it was fear of his master for he could look at nothing but the ground. Lord Voldemort stepped around Lumen, he was taller than Peter, and all she could see was his dark cloak.  
  
“Look at me, girl,” Voldemort hissed and without an instant of hesitation, she lifted her eyes into the red snakelike eyes of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. “What is so special about this one, Wormtail? She is a _mudblood_ ,” he said the word like it was poison on his tongue. “Just like the other one…the child’s mother.” Lumen’s heart jumped in her throat—she knew he was talking about Harry. She wanted to beg him not to harm him or Lily but she couldn’t find the words.  
  
“My…my Lord, p-please,” Peter groveled and for the first time in her life Lumen felt revulsion. Her gaze left Voldemort’s and returned to Peter, who was stooped in a sort of bow and a sort of cower. What a despicable little human…how could she ever have cared for him? Even as she thought it she knew it was a lie—there were too many memories that said otherwise.  
  
“Look at the disgust in her eyes, Wormtail. She doesn’t love you back. She finds you as low as I find her dirty blood,” Voldemort said and she could feel the heat from his gaze. Finally, she returned her gaze to his.  
  
She knew she was going to die in that moment. She knew it from the moment she heard his voice. She wished she could’ve ended her life with some profound words—something that would make Peter wish he’d never betrayed them. She wished she could’ve looked into the dark eyes of Sirius one more time, wished she could have him hold her one last time. She wished she could hug Lily and poke fun at Remus. She wished she could sing to Harry and Neville…  
  
A lone tear left the corner of her eye and then there was a flash of green.

\--  
  
Peter sobbed pathetically as he carried Lumen’s body to the home they had shared with Sirius and Remus. He knew the party must be going on by now and his master had commanded him to deliver her body to them as a message. Of course they would not know it was he who had brought her.  
  
Peter’s heart seemed to have left him when Lumen died. He had always loved her…always and now he held her lifeless body in his arms. Never did he get to truly tell her the way he felt…never would he knew if she could ever feel the same.  
  
He arrived at the flat and set her carefully on the top stoop. He rang the doorbell, gave one last look at Lumen and apparated to his master.  
  
The door opened by a cheerful Remus whose smile faltered when he saw that no one was there. That was until he shifted his gaze down and found Lumen. She was slumped over, her party dress riding up her thighs and her hair full of twigs and branches. Remus slowly kneeled down, his breath almost stopping as he gently tilted her head back and saw her glazed over eyes, her mouth slightly agape.  
  
He swallowed every emotion for just that moment before lifting Lumen gently in his shaking arms and bringing her into the flat. He passed groups of smiling people who looked at him and then at the woman in his arms and he saw the realization him them but he didn’t stay behind for their reaction. He uttered one word to a man leaning against the door to Lumen’s bedroom, “Sirius,” and nudged open the door. He lay her gently on the bed and he pulled her dress down and with a shaking hand he shut her eyes and closed her mouth. He wanted Sirius to see her as if she were simply sleeping.  
  
“Remus, what’s going on?” Sirius’ voice came from behind him and that’s what broke the floodgate. Tears streamed down his face as he turned to Sirius, his body blocking Lumen’s face. “People out there are really upset…”  
  
Sirius trailed off as he recognized the party dress of the body behind Remus. “No,” he uttered, taking a step forward.  
  
“Sirius…” Remus tried, reaching out to him but Sirius shoved his outreached arm away.  
  
“No,” he said, more firmly and then he saw her. Lying there with her eyes closed, her hands spread wide, her hair full of twigs and dirt. “No,” he said once more falling to his knees. This time the ‘no’ was a moan, agony in that cry.  
  
They stayed there like that for a while, Remus sitting cross-legged against the wall, sniffling while Sirius held Lumen’s cold hand, his eyes refusing to leave her face. It was then that the patronus came—the phoenix spoke with Dumbledore’s voice. “The Potters are dead…Harry survived…The Dark Lord has fallen.”  
  
There was silence then. Remus and Sirius turned to look at each other and you know the rest of the story…


End file.
